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On 23 December 1975, George and Kathy Lutz moved into 112 Ocean Avenue, along with Kathy’s three children from her previous marriage. By January 1976, they’d left the place. In September 1977, Jay Anson’s purportedly non-fiction account of their brief tenure, ‘The Amityville Horror’, hit the bookshelves and became a runaway success. Stuart Rosenberg’s 1979 film adaptation replicated that success at the box office. Over the next two decades, a further seven ‘Amityville’ films were released – the law of diminishing returns flapping like a plague-ridden vulture around each subsequent title – until the franchise reached its crass, intellectually redundant and viscerally retarded nadir with ‘Amityville Dollhouse’ in 1996.
In 2005, Rosenberg’s original got the remake treatment from Platinum Dunes. Bearing in mind that Platinum Dunes (CEO, Michael “666” Bay) is less a film production company that a serial rapist lurking down the midnight streets of ’70s cinema to drag one classic after another screaming into some forgotten back alley and then toss them aside, broken and ravaged, as soon as the deed is done, Andrew Douglas’s new version of ‘The Amityville Horror’ was something I approached cautiously.
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At least half a dozen other books have been published since Anson’s bestseller, most of which seem to be band-wagon jumping pulp titles. Many reviews of the Anson book refer to it as a novel rather than a factual work. Lawsuits and controversies dogged its publication. Anson didn’t work with the Lutzes in writing the book, but drew on tape-recordings of their recollections. It has been suggested that Anson reordered some of the incidents from the Lutzes’ account as well as inventing scenes wholesale. It’s also been alleged that Anson’s book represents an exaggeration and in some places a contradiction of the original account the Lutzes gave the press soon after leaving 112 Ocean Avenue, particularly with regard to the amount of time they spent in the house. They first claimed that malevolent forces drove them out within 10 days. In the book – and both Rosenberg and Douglas’s movies – it’s stated that they left after 28 days. All of these works site that the Lutzes fled the house without returning for their personal possessions. Actually, their possessions were collected by a moving firm shortly afterwards. The employee who collected them reported no paranormal activity during the time he was inside the house. Nor have any of the subsequent owners reported run-ins with pissed off ghosts.
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Stuart Rosenberg’s heavy-handed adaptation opened in 1979 with James Brolin at George and Margot Kidder as Kathy. Although Rosenberg has some cracking films on his CV – ‘Cool Hand Luke’, ‘The Drowning Pool’, ‘The Pope of Greenwich Village’ – ‘The Amityville Horror’ has a tang of hack work about it. Apart from a barnstorming turn by Brolin, the acting is generally shoddy. Kidder is terrible while Rod Steiger, as a priest driven out of the house after attempting to bless it, overacts appallingly. Two scenes in particular – his argument with a senior member of the Catholic church, and his torment by a supernatural force that follows him into his own church (“Oh Lord, give them strrrreeenggggthhhh of miiiiiind and boddddyyyyy!”) – go beyond histrionics and knock on the door of parody.
The effects veer between the simple but effective – the steady movement of an unoccupied rocking chair; a pair of disembodied red eyes outside a window – and hilariously bad. The moment when George sees his daughter’s imaginary friend Jodie manifest as a demon pig is so funny I’m surprised no-one developed the character for a spin-off movie: ‘The Ham-eaterie-ville Horror’.
By the end, Rosenberg has thrown everything but the kitchen sink into the mix: walls seeping what’s either blood or pus (or maybe a demonic admixture); an inverted crucifix; a plague of flies; floorboards cracking open in full-on gateway-to-hell stylee; the family pooch going all Cujo; a plaster ornament inexplicably administering bite marks; George hallucinating his wife as a wrinkly old woman; closet doors with no lock somehow locking on a traumatized babysitter.
Ah, yes. The babysitter. Here we have an excellent segue from ‘The Amityville Horror’ of 1979 with its nerdy babysitter wearing the kind of braces that look like they were designed by a committee which included Pinhead, Joseph Mengele and H.R. Giger …
The wood chopping scene works a whole lot better in the remake, too. Whereas Brolin in the original swings the axe away moodily until he’s stacked up about five years’ worth of firewood, George (here played by Ryan Reynolds in a perfectly acceptable performance) decides to punish Kathy (Melissa George)’s oldest son for a perceived misdemeanour by forcing him to hold each chunk of wood on the chopping block while he brings the axe down. The threat is real and immediate, the scene tense and not overplayed.
Melissa George’s typically excellent turn is perhaps the highest example of trading up in any remake ever made. The kids are generally better, too, most notably Chloe Grace Moretz in her debut role. Subject of which, I absolutely love this moment. It replaces Jodie the porcine demon with Jodie the creepy J-horror style dead girl. I look at this …
Philip Baker Hall, again improving on the original performance, plays the luckless priest whose only contribution to the film is to flee the house after the most rubbish attempt at exorcism in the history of the genre. And this, I think, is key to appreciating the remake over the original: Rosenberg’s take on the material is plodding serious and not particularly well executed. Douglas, although paying lip service to the “based on a true story” tag, seems to acknowledge from the off that the book is mostly likely a load of bunkum and gets on with treating the scant running time (87 minutes, the end credits comprising almost ten of them) as a rollercoaster ride through the expected Amityville tropes as well as throwing in a couple of excellent sequences of his own, both involving young Chelsea (Morentz) lured into dangerous situations – a near drowning in the boathouse and a vertiginous bit of business up on the roof – by her spectral friend.
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